john's quotes

Research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.
— Wernher von Braun
[ science | Wernher von Braun ]
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 326 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals -- He just thinks they need more supervision.
— unknown
[ humor | religion | sex | unknown ]
Would it be racist to build a robot to look like a black person? Would it be racist not to?
— unknown
[ racism | unknown ]
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
— Scott Adams
[ humor | problems | Scott Adams ]
You know, the golf course is the only place he isn't handicapped.
— Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, (in reference to president George W Bush)
[ humor | Jon Stewart | president ]
And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | power | The Simpsons ]
Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | money | The Simpsons ]

[Homer searches under the couch for a peanut]
Homer: Hmm...ow, pointy! Eww, slimy. Oh, moving! Ah-ha! Oh, twenty dollars...I wanted a peanut!
Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

— The Simpsons

[ humor | money | The Simpsons ]
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
— unknown
[ humor | life | unknown ]
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
— unknown
[ humor | life | unknown ]
Life is a deadly, sexually-transmitted disease.
— unknown
[ humor | life | sex | unknown ]
I can tell you the meaning of life, but you have to promise not to laugh.
— unknown
[ humor | life | unknown ]
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | life | The Simpsons | work ]
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
— Earl Wilson
[ Earl Wilson | humor | life | money ]
If you are falling off of a mountain, you may as well try to fly.
— John Sheridan
[ Babylon 5 | life ]
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