john's quotes

No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism.
— Winston Churchill
[ idealism | intolerance | Winston Churchill ]
rhetoric - a label used by the intellectually dishonest to dismiss valid points which they are incapable of countering.
— unknown
[ rhetoric | unknown ]

Brain: Now, Pinky, if by any chance you are captured during this mission, remember you are Gunther Heindriksen from Appenzell. You moved to Grindelwald to drive the cog train to Murren. Can you repeat that?
Pinky: Mmmm, no, Brain, don't think I can.

— Pinky and The Brain

[ humor | Pinky and The Brain | world domination ]

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!

— Pinky and The Brain

[ humor | Pinky and The Brain | world domination ]
Can't come to work today. Voices in my head said to stay home and clean the guns.
— unknown
[ humor | unknown | work ]

Smithers: Simpson, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?
Homer: I made a bad mistake and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. I don't remember what it was, so I'm watching TV.

— The Simpsons

[ humor | The Simpsons | work ]
Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | The Simpsons | work ]
You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. ...
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | The Simpsons | work ]

Brain: Here we are, Pinky--at the dawn of time!
Pinky: Narf, Brain. Wake me at the noon of time.

— Pinky and The Brain

[ humor | Pinky and The Brain | time travel ]
For a list of the ways which technology has failed to improve our quality of life, press 3.
— unknown
[ humor | technology | unknown ]
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | technology | The Simpsons ]

Brain: It proved that radio was a powerful tool. And now, Pinky, the advance of technology has brought us an even more powerful tool. Do you know what that is?
Pinky: Ummm... the rubber band?
Brain: The Workings of you mind are a mystery to me Pinky.

— Pinky and The Brain

[ humor | Pinky and The Brain | technology ]
If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try a different position.
— unknown
[ humor | sex | unknown ]
Barbie doesn't come with Ken, she comes with GI Joe -- she fakes it with Ken.
— unknown
[ humor | sex | unknown ]

Homer: When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return.
Bart: Like what?
Homer: I'll tell you when you're older.

— Bart Simpson & Homer Simpson

[ humor | sex | The Simpsons ]
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