humor

Does it have enhanced IR vision, a particle-beam weapon with target acquisition. highly amplified arm/leg systems, self-contained atmosphere, and a small nuclear plant? Not much of a "power-suit", is it?
— unknown
[ attitude | humor | unknown ]
Being a pain-in-the-ass is a prerogative of the creative mind.
— unknown
[ art | humor | unknown ]
Life is a holiday in the same way glass is a liquid.
— unknown
[ angst | humor | unknown ]

Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.

— unknown

[ anarchy | humor | unknown ]
Never let any mechanical device know you're in a hurry.
— unknown
[ advice | humor | technology | unknown ]
Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Then, if he doesn't like what you've said, he's a mile away and barefoot.
— unknown
[ advice | humor | unknown ]
Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.
— Ronald Reagan
[ attitude | humor | president | Ronald Reagan ]
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
— Mark Twain
[ humor | intelligence | Mark Twain | politics ]

Brain: Now, Pinky, if by any chance you are captured during this mission, remember you are Gunther Heindriksen from Appenzell. You moved to Grindelwald to drive the cog train to Murren. Can you repeat that?
Pinky: Mmmm, no, Brain, don't think I can.

— Pinky and The Brain

[ humor | Pinky and The Brain | world domination ]

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!

— Pinky and The Brain

[ humor | Pinky and The Brain | world domination ]
Can't come to work today. Voices in my head said to stay home and clean the guns.
— unknown
[ humor | unknown | work ]

Smithers: Simpson, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?
Homer: I made a bad mistake and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. I don't remember what it was, so I'm watching TV.

— The Simpsons

[ humor | The Simpsons | work ]
Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | The Simpsons | work ]
You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. ...
— Homer Simpson
[ humor | The Simpsons | work ]

Brain: Here we are, Pinky--at the dawn of time!
Pinky: Narf, Brain. Wake me at the noon of time.

— Pinky and The Brain

[ humor | Pinky and The Brain | time travel ]
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