alcohol

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
— Homer Simpson
[ alcohol | beer | humor | The Simpsons ]

Bart: Hey, Dad, can I have a sip of your beer?
Homer: Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.

— Bart Simpson & Homer Simpson

[ alcohol | beer | humor | The Simpsons ]
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
— Homer Simpson
[ alcohol | beer | humor | sports | The Simpsons ]
Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. "Bart is a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." Now let's go back to that...building...thingy, where our beds and TV...is.
— Homer Simpson
[ alcohol | beer | humor | irony | The Simpsons ]
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
— Homer Simpson
[ alcohol | beer | humor | The Simpsons ]
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
— Homer Simpson
[ alcohol | beer | humor | The Simpsons ]
After an obviously long night he found himself staggering about at home, when that familiar urge suddenly came upon him. In an uncharacteristic flash of common sense he managed to get to his bedroom window before unloading his guts through it. Unfortunately he was standing in the garden, looking in.
— Jock Meston, alt.drunken.bastards
[ alcohol | humor | Jock Meston ]
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